When scattering ashes, you might say a few words that honor the memory and life of the deceased, sharing a personal story or a meaningful quote. It's also common to take a moment of silence for reflection, and if appropriate, invite others to share their thoughts or feelings before gently releasing the ashes into the chosen location.
Generally, one pound of a person's weight when alive will correspond to one cubic inch of cremated remains. For example, if a person weighed 150 pounds while alive, their loved ones can expect to receive 150 cubic inches of cremated remains, and should look for an urn with a volume of at least 150 cubic inches. A standard adult urn, which has a volume of at least 200 cubic inches, would be appropriate for this person. For a detailed estimation on the volume of ashes you may expect to receive after cremation, please visit our Urn Calculator. To read more about urn sizes, visit our detailed urn size guide.
If your husband (or spouse) has passed away, keeping your husband's ashes at home is a respectful way to honor your spouse's memory and keep him close to you. You may wish to consider the preferences of other family members, and split the ashes if there are multiple people who would like to keep a portion of ashes.
Depending on where you bury your loved one's ashes, an urn may or may not be a requirement. If you or your loved ones own the property where you’ll be burying the cremated remains, the decision to use an urn is entirely up to your preference. However, cemeteries often have specific rules on how to bury ashes, and public and private properties may also have regulations for burying ashes. Always ensure you comply with a location's set guidelines and local laws to avoid any issues.
If you plan to keep all the ashes within one urn, choose an urn size that can hold the full volume of ashes you expect to receive. One pound of body weight will roughly correspond to one cubic inch of ashes, so you can use the weight of your loved one to estimate what size urn will be appropriate. Most adults will be able to use a standard-sized urn (also known as an adult urn), which has a volume in the range of 200 cubic inches. Make sure the urn's volume is slightly larger than your estimated volume of ashes, to avoid the urn overflowing during closure. If you are sharing or dividing ashes among family members, choose an urn that is smaller than a standard-sized urn, because you will not need to store the full volume of ashes. Discuss with your loved one how you plan to divide the ashes, including the number of people that will receive ashes and whether the ashes will be divided in equal portions.
There is no mention of scattering ashes in the Bible, but the Catholic Church prohibits scattering because it teaches that a person's body should be interred in a sacred resting place (i.e., graveyard, which is a cemetery located on church grounds). Cremation is permitted under the basis that cremated remains are treated as if they were a whole body, and the act of scattering goes against this practice.
Depending on your location, you may have legal regulations associated with scattering ashes. These are in place for the interest of public and environmental safety, along with respect for private property owners who may not want cremated remains on their property. Some families may choose to ignore these regulations and scatter ashes in places that bar cremated remains (such as Disneyland), but we heavily discourage this as it can be illegal and result in the undignified disposal of your loved one's remains as a biohazard.
For members of Christianity, scattering ashes is considered a sin. The Church believes that while cremation is acceptable, a person's cremated remains must be kept together so that they may be successfully resurrected in the future. Non-Christian religions and agnostic & atheist households are not subject to this belief.
When scattering ashes, be mindful of wind direction, and release the ashes at or near waist level. This helps avoid cremated remains blowing back into you or your guests' face(s). Take your time and release ashes slowly, both to prolong the moment and to avoid a large deposit of remains at once.
Selecting the right urn size is important to ensure you have an urn that can accommodate your loved one's remains. It can be distressing to discover that an urn you picked is too small for your loved one. Fortunately, a standard-sized urn is properly sized to hold the full volume of ashes from most adults, which can take some of the guesswork out of choosing urn sizes. Use our urn size calculator to estimate the approximate volume you will need for your loved one's ashes, and when in doubt, always size up.
To transport cremated remains to a new location for burial or scattering, you may choose to drive by car, fly by plane, or ship the ashes ahead of you. Traveling by car is the easiest way to transport ashes because there are no regulations or guidelines that you have to follow. If you are shipping ashes or bringing them on a flight, you will have to make sure your loved one's cremated remains are in a suitable cremation urn or other container for your chosen method, and pack the urn accordingly. The best mode of transportation depends on your specific needs, but any of these methods can get your loved one to their final destination safely.
The opportunity for a final goodbye before cremation can occur at a funeral or memorial service held prior to the cremation. A memorial service before cremation allows family and friends a time to grieve and say their final goodbyes to their loved one. If the deceased is laid to rest in an open casket during the service, this viewing can also give mourners closure to see their loved one a last time before cremation. Some cremation providers also offer a witnessed cremation, where a small number of family members are allowed to join the cremation operator and watch their loved one be placed into the cremation chamber. A witnessed cremation allows grieving family to be the last people to see their loved one before cremation occurs.
Unlike a traditional burial, when cremated remains are buried, they do not decompose further in the ground, because they have already been reduced to bone through cremation. Some families may choose an eco-friendly or "green" burial by burying their loved one's ashes within a biodegradable urn that breaks down in the soil over months or years, eventually allowing the ashes to mix with the earth. More commonly, ashes will be buried within a permanently lasting cremation urn encased by a durable urn vault. This urn vault can be buried underground at a cemetery plot, designated memorial garden, or other chosen location. Burying cremated remains allows family and friends to give their loved one a final resting place in a memorial location that they can revisit.
Metal urns are one of the most durable types of cremation urns, and can last several decades to centuries. These urns are usually vase-shaped and made from metals such as brass or pewter. It takes extreme force to damage the structure of a metal urn, and if one is buried underground without an urn vault, over time the urn risks collapsing under the weight of soil. Like other metal objects, metal urns can also be dented or scratched with improper handling, but these visual flaws will not affect the strength or function of the urn. In the Light Urns offers free urns for ashes that have suffered minor aesthetic damage in our warehouse and cannot be sold in perfect condition.
You can bury your loved one's ashes in a cemetery. To bury cremated remains within a cemetery, you will need to purchase one of the cemetery's burial plots. Burial plots for urns will typically cost less than burial plots for caskets because they take up a smaller area of land. Some cemeteries will have designated areas for urn burial, such as urn gardens, that are separated from the area for casket burial. If you are burying your loved one's urn within a cemetery, you may also wish to purchase a headstone to mark your loved one's resting place.
When you are arranging a cremation and funeral service through a funeral home, the funeral home will typically offer cremation urns for sale. However, urns sold by a funeral home are often priced extremely high in order to create profit. You should know that you are not obligated to purchase an urn from a funeral home, and you can use your own urn to hold your loved one's ashes. By United States law, a funeral home or crematorium must accept outside urns when transferring cremated remains into a container. Purchasing urns from a third party like In the Light Urns is often preferable to purchasing directly from a funeral home or crematorium, because it allows you more flexibility in pricing and urn customization.
Cremation does not require blood or any other fluids in the body to be drained. However, if a viewing or open casket funeral is planned for your loved one prior to cremation, they will need to be embalmed first, which involves draining blood from the body and replacing it with formaldehyde. This process helps preserve the body by slowing the rate of decomposition. Embalmed bodies can still be cremated, but an embalming is not necessary for cremation. If your loved one will not be viewed post-mortem, you do not need to have them embalmed.
A loved one's cremated remains may either be divided among family or kept together within one urn. Some families find comfort in sharing ashes amongst themselves so that family members can keep their lost one close, while other families feel it's more respectful to keep the ashes intact so that their loved one can remain whole. Deciding whether to divide cremated ashes is a personal choice that varies by family, and both options are respectable ways to honor a loved one's memory. Ultimately, the decision should honor the wishes of the deceased and provide peace to those left behind.
A custom cremation urn is frequently engraved with the deceased's name, birth date, and death date. You can further personalize your engraving with an epitaph, which is a short expression of love or respect that goes on memorial items. Examples of epitaphs include "In Loving Memory" and "Beloved Wife and Mother"/Husband and Father". If there is room, a short quote or statement such as "Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened" can also be included.